ABOUT i-CONNECT
Loneliness is normal, irrespective of age. In a recent worldwide press release the British Broadcasting Corporation demonstrated that there are more lonely young people than older people. Imagine being a young person with no one to turn to, being shy in social settings or at times such as starting a new school. As a parent it is difficult when you realise that your child may be struggling with loneliness. All is not lost as there are many things you can do to help! You can:
The ability to communicate with others is a key component in maintaining friendships. Many young people struggle to understand verbal and non-verbal signals. Teach your child how to recognise facial expressions, body language, gestures, tone of voice, posture and how to maintain eye contact. Using a television show or a movie might help you highlight these kinds of things, as well as to help your child to recognize them. You can also teach your child about the importance of taking turns in conversation, and being sure to actively listen. Many parents find it helpful to role -play and practising conversations.
Present your child with opportunities to interact socially so that they can practice their social skills. When young people have positive social relationships they improve their ability to communicate, manage conflict, maintain friendships and develop skills in cooperating with others. Start off small by getting your child to order his/her food the next time you eat out. Or get him/her to ask where to find something when in the supermarket or department store. You can also encourage your child to have a friend over, or participate in extracurricular activities such as sports, art, band/chorus, dance/gymnastics, martial arts, and/or volunteering.
As your child develops his/her social skills, be sure to complement him/her when he/she does something well, or tries something new. Be sure to offer encouragement and positive reinforcement, especially if they are struggling. When your child is nervous about trying something new, remind him/her of a previous success.
It is important for your child to feel connected to school and teachers in order to maintain positive well-being. Communicating positively with your child’s school can help you and the teacher to find ways to ensure that your child is being included. This also alerts teachers to be more proactive in helping your child with social skills. Additionally if your child continues to feel lonely, there may be a school counsellor who can provide more specific support and skill building.
Do not be concerned by the number of friends your child has or does not have, as long as he/she has at least one or two connected relationships. The quality of your child's friendships is much more important than the number of friends.
It’s easy for people to get caught up in negative thinking. If your child tends to have a negative perspective on things, teach him/her how to think more positively. Explain how to turn a negative thought into a positive one. This shows your child how he/she can control their thought processes.
Model good social skills, communication and positive thinking
Remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight. Be patient when trying to help your child. Social skills and self-esteem, as well as quality friendships take time to develop. It is important that you give your child space during this time to build the necessary skills and to become more comfortable in social settings.